Neck Fishnet

Neck Fishnet
am i a masochist?

when i am.. err.. pleasuring myself i always imagine the girl digging her nails into my peck muscles and a little blood coming out, and biting my neck and leaving teeth marks and sometimes no leather, but she IS wearing black clothes such as fishnet and whatnot..am i a masochist?
when i am.. err.. pleasuring myself i always imagine the girl digging her nails into my peck muscles and a little blood coming out, and biting my neck and leaving teeth marks and sometimes she is even choking me. she doesn't wear leather, but she IS wearing black clothes such as fishnet and whatnot..am i a masochist?
leather: no
chains: yes
blood: always (but from me, not her)
and the smell i always imagine is sweat, blood, and dirt

It certainly sounds like you have established a domination fetish fantasy. Does that make you an actual masochist, no. Why? Because, you haven't actually done it, you just fantasied about it. There is a huge difference.

I'm guessing you've googled and maybe searched on wikipedia for pictures and definitions of masochist. You've see pictures, you read stories and you got ideas. While this isn't exactly a healthy fantasy, it's not like you've done it in real life either.

I'd be far more worried about you, if you were the sadist. Then we'd have a problem. Sadists are far more likely to act out their fantasies, then masochists are. Sadists are actually dangerous. However, it can be dangerous to be a masochist. Most people who say they are masochists, aren't true masochists. They often perform these acts with a trusted partner, and use a safe word. The key word here being trust. they want to simulate danger, but not actually be in danger. This doesn't mean that things can't go horribly wrong. That is something to be careful with.

You have created an image of a dominatrix in your mind. You have created a sex object in your mind and that is your fantasy woman. In some respects, you are in control just as much as she is. You are telling her how to dress, and what to do to you. So you aren't really completely submissive. It's a simulation.

Those who engage in this or similar fetishes do it for a number of reasons. The first may be the most obvious, you have low self esteem or a negative body image, and this makes you feel good. It's a way of taking back some level of control and attraction, by actually saying, well you're going to hurt me and call me names anyway, so I'm going to enjoy it. If a person has been hurt or called names their whole life, then they may think, well the jokes on you, because I enjoy it. So the victim becomes the one who's in control.

The other type of masochist is someone with a great deal of power in their normal lives. They may feel as though they need to find balance. So they relinquish some of that power in a controlled atmousphere and become temporarily submissive in a sexual manner. It is controlled submission, and it serves as an equalizer for them. They may be in a high stress profession like a doctor or lawyer, and they need to feel like they aren't as powerful or overwhelmed for awhile. "I'm tired of being powerful, so for the next hour, can you just make me feel like I have no power?"

The blood, teeth marks and finger nails are a pain for pleasure response. It's similar to someone cutting themselves. Why do you want pain? Because, it's not painful to them. That sounds strange, because it is strange. There were these Buddhist monks who trained their minds to feel pleasure whenever they were subjected to intense pain. The more pain they recieved, the most pleasure they felt. They were tortured during the occupation and war, and this was how they managed to survive. It's mind over matter. The mind is amazing.

A depressed cutter feels numb. Pain is a very easy emotion to create when you are numb to emotion. So while it may be painful, they are just happy to be feeling anything. It's a stress release, because they were beginning to worry about being so numb. The numbness was making them feel less human, and now they feel human again. That pain makes them feel human and thus less depressed. Twisted, but often true.

We relate spanking to punishment, but a masochist relates it to pleasure. They enjoy submission, and they sometimes enjoy the pain. They may feel the pain for a little bit, but then it feels like a release of stress and anxiety. Again, twisted, but true.

Any fetish can be addictive. Sexual addictions are very common. You are getting your masochist craving, and you need your fantasy fix. The fact that you are doing this during masturbation, means that you have connected it to sexual pleasure. You have associated this pain, with an orgasm. We all like orgasms, so we can train our mind to associate anything with an orgasm and think it feels good.

I'm guessing you've been doing this for quite some time, perhaps it even stems back to early childhood. Some fetishes begin very early.

The fact that she's harming your muscles, is also telling me you have muscles. You are feeling like a manly man, but you want to be submissive. She's dressed in commanding black clothes, and feminine fishnets. This is a normal heterosexual fantasy. You are the masculine man. She is the feminine, yet powerful woman. You are in a position where you are displaying your muscles and she is taking the time to notice them. The fact is for her to even stratch your chest or bite your neck, she would have to touch those two spots, which is very sexual in nature.

It's understandable why you would be having a sexual fantasy while masturbating. It's also understandable why that fantasy would be visual and detailed. Men are very visual and detailed.

I'm not going to say you're normal. I'm just going to say be careful. This could be dangerous. This could also be a sexual addiction. There are over 1000 known fetishes, and this is just one of them. Infact, I've didentified subfantasies within the masochist fantasy. Just be careful. This may also make it diffecult to enjoy normal sex or conducted a normal relationship with a woman.

Best of luck.

Helix - Christine

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